Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Stages of grief

FOLLICULAR LYMPHOMA: Median survival is around 10 
years, but the range is wide, from less than one year, to more than 20 years. Some patients may never need treatment. The overall survival rate at 5 years is 72-77%.


It's only been a week, not even, since my diagnosis (and coincidentally since I got my new Google Nexus 4 phone) and it still seems unreal. Not as in, how can this be happening to me, but more like, maybe they made a mistake. Okay, those old five Kübler-Ross stages of grief, denial, etc. I'm definitely at denial:
Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death. Denial can be conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage.

And then my woo woo friend C will tell me that Louise Hay says it means I'm missing the joy of life or something like that. And I say, grrrr, well, gimme some, then! but why give me cancer.

I'm in good company, I know...as people are wont to remind me. And it does rather amaze me, how many people have cancer.

And still no word from my father or younger brother since my email telling them my news.

Perhaps I'm rather fatalistic, though you know I'll try my damnedest to keep healthy.

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